The View From Kalamazoo

Since I mentioned the engagement in this post on social media, I would be remiss to not share this bit of happy news:

Trent Reznor married Mariqueen Maandig this past Saturday—October 17, 2009. Congratulations to them both, and may they enjoy many, many happy years together.

(Photo courtesy of Pink is the New Blog)

And I must admit I’ve been suffering from an acute case of nostalgia: yesterday was the twentieth anniversary of Nine Inch Nails’ first studio album, Pretty Hate Machine. Nearly that long ago I attended a Jesus and Mary Chain concert in Detroit… for which NIN was the opening band.

Am I really that old? Er… yeah. The smartass who sends me black balloons next year is getting his can kicked. 😛

A story:
Seventeen years ago I was on an intranet board at my university arguing with an infuriatingly contentious, egotistical pain in the ass.
Who, a month later, asked me out.
And we were incompatible, totally different, utterly ridiculous.
So, of course, two weeks after that first date he asked me to move in.
And two weeks later asked me to marry.
My beloved pain in the ass and I celebrated our sixteenth wedding anniversary this past June.

Why am I posting this? When I looked through his CD collection there was one—one!—title in common with mine: Pretty Hate Machine.

I considered it a good sign.

So thank you, Trent Reznor.

And congratulations, too, on twenty years of success—looking forward to what the next twenty hold!

There is a discussion in a community on Facebook that medievalists/attendees of the International Congress on Medieval Studies might find interesting. Or not – in which case there’s always scrabble.

Session Organizer paperwork for the International Congress on Medieval Studies is due Oct. 1.

Get on it!

Four years ago I was asked to join seven other bloggers–parents of kids with a variety of disabilities–to blog in an organized fashion on their behalf.

Every year since then I’ve continued the practice, although solo.

This year I have decided to organize another parents Blog For Kids With Disabilities day (this time in October, due to a variety of unfortunate logistical kerfuffles) to spread awareness, offer advice or support for other parents, and to advocate.

The topic would be yours to decide upon (parenting, education, medical struggles – if you have stories that directly relate to the current health care reform debate that you’ve already related to your representatives, I have no doubt other parents and interested readers would like to hear them), we’d just coordinate the date of posting and include links to each others’ blogs.

I know former/potential bloggers who are concerned that they will not have a full-blown blog set up by that time, and I am happy to post your essays here, if logistics require–the more voices the better!

Please let me know if you’re interested in participating.

My archives:

September 28, 2008
September 20, 2007
(2006 post got et, I think. I’m looking for a back-up copy)
September 14,19, and 26, 2005

Goodbye, John Hughes.

You captured a whole generation with your films, you made us laugh and cry and comb our hair into ducktails and you were pretty frikken awesome. I can’t imagine being a teen in the 80s without you.

R.I.P.

The Call for Papers for the International Congress on Medieval Studies is UP!

I’m used to discussing internet presence and authorial voice with academics (mainly medievalists), but I am recently reminded that it’s not discipline-specific nor is it only applicable to academic blogging. The most recent Congress session on Weblogs and the Academy focused on open, pseudonymous, and anonymous blogging. And when addressing this topic the discussion necessarily touched upon voice, audience, and honesty.

To wit: I started blogging in July 2003, and even then was aware of what internet presence meant: I started two blogs, one under my own name and a second (on LiveJournal) under a pseudonym I’d used online for a decade. Both were me, but with different foci and degrees of formality in voice. I locked my casual, personal journal, and conducted myself on my profession-focused blog with the awareness that what I wrote wasn’t just words. It doesn’t take a computer scientist to parse that an author doesn’t find themselves in the position of apologizing for hoof-in-mouth disease if they keep their feet out of their mouths to begin with, so I thought before I posted and conducted myself honestly no matter what name I blogged under. That last was a conscious decision – a decision many on the internet do not make.

Which is why there is a cloud that can surround the academic who blogs anonymously (ironically, the choice to be anonymous by a blogger usually stems from a fear that honesty will work against them professionally.) Pseudonymous blogs, therefore, attempt to avoid the pitfalls of both, and are also more likely to use a less formal voice, to be written by junior faculty and women, and to address academic life in ways that serves to demystify, to bridge gaps, and to create collegiality as well as professional and personal networking and the opportunity to interact with far-flung individuals with similar interests/POVs/disciplinary foci – i.e., they attempt to connect and create community.

None of this is news.

But the reason I’m blogging is that I have been recently reminded of the universality of the question of anonymous v. non-anonymous in regards to creating and maintaining community as I’ve watched an interesting internet drama unfold. Interesting because of the way it illustrates the asymmetrical nature of internet interaction and for the way it shows how those most would argue as privileged end up having to fight for the most basic things the rest of us take for granted.

Trent Reznor was on, and is now (hopefully temporarily) off, Twitter.

But that’s not what this is about.

Not really.

But before I get too far I must confess some bias: In 1990 I first heard Nine Inch Nails, and have been listening ever since. I grew older, occasionally wiser, and gained life experiences and responsibilities… and each new album somehow still resonated with me and addressed ideas with which I was then (often unsuccessfully) wrestling. Through the years I developed a healthy respect for Trent Reznor, his brains, and his talent (yes, that means through my own shit as well as witnessing his – I’m imperfect and do not expect more out of others than I can expect or accept from myself). I’m afraid I’m not a “fangirl,” however … and I’d be a pretty piss-poor one if I tried – I lack the time, money, and energy to be anyone’s One True Fan. (Even if I wanted to be.)

I’m OK with that.

I also don’t construct pedestals. I prefer sticking with the Real – “perfection” isn’t inspirational, it’s annoying. So, flaws accepted, certain known personality traits expected – I was there for the music. My native inability to objectify human beings, as well as short attention-span when it comes to anything that doesn’t much Matter to me in the greater sense, means I have no attraction to the ‘famous’ nor have more than a very few individuals I respect enough to have shown any sort of long-term ‘loyalty’. I’m hard to impress.

I’m OK with that, too.

(And I’m also OK with the fact that a bunch of medievalists are likely reading this with O_O looks on their faces. Jaws might be off the floor by conference-time next year.)

So although the drama in question may be centered on Mr. Reznor, the fundamental issues that need to be considered are not — nor are they specific to ‘rock stars’ (not really) — but he’s where I need to begin to do this right (and context is long – bear with me).

By way of introduction I’ll quote the Webby Award website:
“The Webby Awards is thrilled to honor Trent Reznor with the Webby Artist of the Year Award in recognition of his album, The Slip, which debuted for free download in May 2008 on his website. By making his music available to fans for free, Trent Reznor embraced the true openness of the Internet, similar to the release of the album Year Zero, which launched with an award-winning alternate reality game. Trent Reznor’s ability to connect with fans far and wide through the Web makes him a qualified ambassador of online culture, and arguably one of the most-recognized artists harnessing the power of the Internet to spread music.”

And so it’s the results of his attempts to connect (to demystify, to bridge gaps), specifically via Twitter, that unleashed what can properly be described as a shit-storm.

I have a rather acute wank allergy: I have no patience with jackassery and no tolerance for bullshit. So I’d made a point of staying well away from the nin.com forum (therefore I have not read the many, many, pages of flailing and wankage), and had intended on waiting the storm out. I’ve avoided entertainment “news” sites, other blogs, and anywhere else I would be bombarded by the information I already had, repackaged to stir their readership. Despite my best efforts, however, I couldn’t avoid ‘the perfect storm’ for long – said shit hit the fan in my LiveJournal ‘friends list’… and after I stopped rolling my eyes at the knee-jerking and emotion-packed vitriol I found there, it occurred to me that a forensic study of the spatter pattern (as it were) was called for, since it’s really not about what everyone seems to think – wants it to be – about.

Because by focusing on what it’s not they don’t have to talk about what it is.

Because that would be uncomfortable. Because they’d have to look at themselves, and maybe – just maybe – they wouldn’t like what they find.

The timeline: approximately 10 days before Mr. Reznor’s engagement to musician Mariqueen Maandig was announced (congratulations¹⁰!) their Twitter accounts were spammed (by individuals, and accounts apparently expressly created for the purpose) with crude, racist tweets. Once the media ran with news of their engagement the tweets continued and increased (I read through many of them: malicious, racist, threatening, unconscionable comments), both in number and vituperative quality. In addition to these comments, he was besieged with accusations of ‘going soft’ and complaints that he wasn’t ‘the old Trent’ anymore. Then there were the threads of commentary on nin.com pontificating on how he deserved what he got for posting ‘personal stuff’, how the harassment was his own fault for being human on Twitter. (more was happening re: his recent charity initiatives, but that’s another story) He fired a warning shot across the bow over a week ago.) And four days ago he’d finally had it, and posted his decision to back away from social networking – ie his attempt to connect to fans — on nin.com. This wasn’t a carefully-worded press release — it was honest, off-the-cuff, and designed both to inform the fanbase and take a jab at the group primarily responsible for the ongoing harassment. For space reasons I’ll just quote the section devoted to the latter, but I encourage you to go read the whole post:

” Looks like the Metal Sludge contingency has discover Twitter! Finally! For those of you that don’t know what this is, please let me explain. Metal Sludge is the home of the absolutely worst people I’ve ever come across. It’s populated mainly by unattractive plump females who publicly fantasize about having sex with guys in bands. Kind of like a role-playing game where people NOBODY will fuck make up stories about their incredible sexual encounters with people they WISH they could fuck. It would be kind of funny in a sad and pathetic way except the fun doesn’t stop there – hate and good old-fashioned outright blatant racism are also encouraged to spice things up and remind you how truly ugly these scourges are. TRULY ugly on the inside (the outside is obvious).
Cutter’s tip for my friends there: remember to cut along the length of vein, not across. Bigger payoff.So when you see the new accounts that pop up daily on Twitter spewing exactly the kind of thing I just discussed, usually from picture-less creatively named profiles, spewing hate at Mariqueen and I, take a moment to visualize the sad couple people behind them.

A few years ago some people tuned me in to that world and when I figured out who these people were, I was amazed that I’d been seeing them in the front rows of the shows for months. I really don’t understand what kind of “fan” spends that kind of time and money to travel across the country seeing a band, to then dedicate an incredible amount of time and energy into non-stop hate diatribes online. That one puzzles me a little.”

Right. I read this a few hours after it was posted – I had been on the road, on my way to that evening’s concert.

Any of you who are irl friends of mine, or who have attended the Congress, know I’m a fat broad.

I was not offended.

I initially thought there must be a Reason behind his word choice. And that thought was followed by another, which involved my not giving a good rat’s ass what he thought about fat chicks. I mean – c’mon! You’ll be called on the carpet for a remark about just about any group of people you can think of except the “plump” — pick on them and you’ll be given your own syndicated show.

Honestly, the only thing that concerned me was the notion that if a member of the band saw me in the pit Assumptions Would Be Made. And I didn’t want to be erroneously associated with the dregs that would send harassing tweets just because I’m zaftig.

I got over it. (It was an effing awesome concert, and I had a blast in my last pit at my last NIN show, thanksverymuch.)

Let me repeat: I was not offended. I know better than to take a whole lot of things personally, and, my duckies, I can tell you that there is nothing Mr. Reznor posts that’s ever about me. I am really not that important. Others have a different relationship with reality and view of their own importance than I do, however, so a great many responses to his post were… what’s the correct internet term? Oh yes – butthurt.

And so he made a clarification post to let the acutely butthurt know he hadn’t intended to offend them.

He made an unfortunate wording choice. And he was man enough to apologize and explain precisely why he said what he did. But by the time I read lj two days later knees were frenetically jerking in reaction – name-calling, crying for negative attention by feminist websites, and all numbers of outrageous bullshit.

Jackassery, in other words. I sigh.

To cries of ‘They’re just trolls!’ ‘He should have just ignored them!’ ‘You’re just a big meanie!” I call foul.

Are they trolls? Well, duh. Hasn’t the standard operating procedure since the internet was born been to ‘Please Do Not Feed The Trolls’? Again, duh. Is the man human?! Aye, there’s the rub.

He is. Despite ideas to the contrary by those who do (and who do not) call themselves fans, he is. If someone were harassing me (and to a significantly lesser extent, been there and done that) could I shrug it off? Most likely: I have. If someone were harassing a member of my family? Not on your effing life. What would happen would look a lot like momma-bear meets Godzilla hopped up on Red Bull and doing the Tokyo stomp – I’d make Trent effing Reznor look like Little Mary effing Sunshine.

(and those friends of mine irl who’ve read this far are nodding vigorously right now, I guarantee – they’ve heard my recountings of Em’s IEP meetings)

So do I get the frustration and anger? Oh hells yes, I do. And am I willing to fault him for being as human as I? Not on your life.

Human.

And this is where we get to the point.

The man who was just given an award for attempting to be real and connect with his fanbase is being (shrilly!) faulted by some peeps claiming to be fans for attempting to be real and connect with his fanbase. Can I get a OMGWTF!?! brothers and sisters?

Certainly, this is firmly grounded in the nature of anonymity and the internet (aka the inherent truth of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory). But it’s also about what it means to be a fan and the need of some fans to raise their idols to a level beyond that of us mere mortals. And then hold them to it.

In other words, it’s about denying him the right to be ordinary.

Human.

And what I want to know is: who the fuck are you to deny anyone that?

Whoah, I’ve never liveblogged — this will be interesting (and not just the papers – I *know* those will be interesting!!)

Weblogs and the Academy: The Scope of the Professional and Boundaries of the Personal in Open, Pseudo-Anonymous, and Anonymous Blogging (organized by Shana Worthen and myself)

Personalizing the Profession: The Value of “Academic Life” Blogs, Christina M. Fitzgerald:academic life blogs v. narrowly discipline-focused blogs. The former works to humanize academics, showing demands of personal and professional and blurred lines between academic life and personal life. Blogs can be read for insight into other types of institutions, situations, or positions to gain broader knowledge of the workings of academia. Academic life blogs can shed light on the process to graduate students beginning the process, demystifying it in the process. Reminds readers that medievalists are not only what they publish, gives voice to their work, but also to the way their work impacts their personal lives and shapes their professional experience.

Balancing the Personal and the Professional in Academic Blogging, Kristen M. Burkholder: reasons for choice to pseudononymously blog and the ramifications of that decision. blogging under own name involves a certain circumspect treatment of blog contents, given the potential negative ramifications of name googling by an institution during a tenure process or job search. activities or opinions outside of academic life communicated in connection to a blogger’s real identity can still shadow that individual and color the opinions of readers. Medievalists, as a fairly ‘rare bird’ in academia, are easy to possibly ferret out based on clues to identity, so a pseudonym alone can’t be considered protection of identity. Blogging under a real name, however, allows the blogger to take credit for the blogging (ex: showing engagement with discipline). Can be a way to establish professional relationships and engage in discipline-based discourse. Blogs used as teaching tools can, obviously, not function pseudonymously if that blog is revealed to students in the course of utilizing it in pedagogy. Closed course blogs can’t be used as an ongoing tool, nor can they engage the scholarly community as a whole. The size of potential audience requires care to balance casual discussion of academic topics (like deconstructing conference sessions) with making actionable statements, and the positive visibility of a scholar as a representative of a discipline or university has another side of the coin if discretion is not applied to the blog topically or in the treatment of the topic.

“A Blogger by Any Other Name”: Pseudonymous Blogging and the Creation of a Legitimate Academic Voice, Julie A. Hofmann: academic blogging has changed significantly since 2002. Initially bloggers were discipline-focused and written primarily by males, whereas blogging by medievalists has exploded in the range of voices and the increase in academic life blogs. In general, the more personal the blog, the more likely the author is female, the blog pseudononymous, and the voice collegial/casual — but increasingly junior faculty are joined by senior faculty and graduate students and independent scholars in bloggingl. Despite the Ivan Tribble series, this expansion in types of bloggers shows that blogging and bloggers aren’t the scary things naysayers feared. Professional voice appears side by side with this casual, personal voice, thus presenting blogger as scholar and serving the discipline and community via information exchange and a space for discourse. Many (although not all) blogging with an academic voice post under their real identity, whether individual or group-constructed. The professional voice is carefully constructed, but the collegial voice is equally as carefully constructed and the pseudononymous blogger that uses it is not, as often accused, trying to hide something nor necessarily over-personal or under-professional. They are not *less* academic – they are *differently* academic. Most academics do not find jobs at research universities, so to stress the purely-professionally-voiced academic blog presents an image of the discipline that doesn’t match reality. And medievalists are often isolated on campuses — collegiality creates community. Questions: why are most academic life blogs written by females? why do males feel more comfortable blogging under their own names? and, if blogs are clearly academic and legitimate, why do so many academic life bloggers still feel compelled to blog pseudononymously?

My Blog Is Not Myself: Negotiating Identity in the Academic Blogosphere, Janice Liedel: Psychologists working on blogs have shown that the elaborate creation of online identity is actually rare – in reality, personal identity is grafted onto avatars and communication. In fact, the internet pulls some to reveal more of the personal than they would otherwise, and that has in part helped form the list of negatives leveled at bloggers: recklessness, senior colleagues can adversely impact careers, posts can create animosity in departments, popularity can create a form of professional jealousy. Even so, the internet identity is a construction (whether publicly blogging or no) however much it’s informed by the personality of the blogger. And the blogger must be cognizant of that identity constructed — a vitriol-fueled personal, for example, it surely not a good choice nor positive contribution to professional goals when bridges are burned with senior faculty and graduate students, alike. Although nothing disappears on the internet, choices can be reconsidered and personas remade to better serve the personal and professional goals of the blogger.

Shana Worthen and I have co-organized the series of sessions at the International Congress on Medieval Studies on ‘Weblogs and the Academy’ for the past three years.

2006 – Weblogs and the Academy: Internet Presence and Professional Discourse among Medievalists (A Roundtable)

2007 – Weblogs and the Academy: Pedagogy, Professionalism, and Technical Practices (A Roundtable)

2008 – Weblogs and the Academy: Professional and Community Outreach through Internet Presence

And this, our final year:

2009 – Weblogs and the Academy: The Scope of the Professional and Boundaries of the Personal in Open, Pseudo-Anonymous, and Anonymous Blogging — Please join us Saturday, May 9, at 3:30 p.m. in Bernhard 213!

We’ve enjoyed organizing the sessions, and they’ve been very good (if I do say so myself – and this year looks excellent, too!) To our delight they’ve resulted in spirited discussion both at the conference and online, and they’ve helped in the creation of a real and lively community of medievalist bloggers. We’ve been fortunate in the wide and outstanding variety of scholars who have come aboard, and in the generous support the medievalist blogging community has given us in the form of suggestions, ideas, and kudos – many, many thanks to all!

I’m (inordinately!) pleased that academic blogging in our discipline is still going full-force, that sessions on blogging have become (almost) commonplace at other academic conferences, and that our sessions have helped shine a spotlight on the bloggers who have spoken in them and on the greater world of medievalist bloggers.

But wait – I said final, didn’t I?

Shana and I have decided to exit, stage left. The topic is hardly exhausted, despite our presenting speakers on some of the biggest issues that either we identified or that grew out of previous sessions, but we’re bowing out while we’re ahead — and that means there is an opening for any of you to continue the show. I can’t think of any major issues we’ve missed – but I suspect you may have ideas (that is, if the sessions are still of interest and still needed – and that’s a question only you, collectively, can answer), and we’re happy to support you in organizing these sorts of sessions at Kalamazoo in the future.

But ya gotta let us know.

So – what do you think?